Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.
-- William Butler Yeats
-- William Butler Yeats
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I love to tell stories... particularly good jokes. While I have seldom been called a prude, I prefer jokes that I can tell my mother... or my pastor. Each day I send out another clean joke you can tell your mother or pastor/priest/rabbi (IF your mother, pastor, priest or rabbi has a good sense of humor.)
To subscribe send an e-mail to huismaniowa@msn.com. Type "humor" in the subject line and I'll add you to the list -- no charge, no obligation. If at anytime you wish to get off the list, simply send an e-mail to the above address and in the subject line write "cancel humor."
To subscribe send an e-mail to huismaniowa@msn.com. Type "humor" in the subject line and I'll add you to the list -- no charge, no obligation. If at anytime you wish to get off the list, simply send an e-mail to the above address and in the subject line write "cancel humor."
Copyright 2011 Huisman Communications, Ankeny, Iowa
Do you love a good joke?
Examples of recent mailings...
Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."
The recession is so bad...
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a polygamist with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the "quarter-ouncer."
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it so they repossessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!
Two elderly women were out rolling down the busy street in a large car -- both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. She turned to the driver and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”
Earl and Bubba, two good ol' boys. are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoke to me in over two months."
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, "You better think it over, Bubba -- women like that are hard to find."
Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."
The recession is so bad...
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a polygamist with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the "quarter-ouncer."
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it so they repossessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together they now have to share a room.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!
Two elderly women were out rolling down the busy street in a large car -- both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. She turned to the driver and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”
Earl and Bubba, two good ol' boys. are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoke to me in over two months."
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, "You better think it over, Bubba -- women like that are hard to find."